I’m a Therapist Who Procrastinates—Here’s How I Get Unstuck

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Of course, your options might not feel as easy and straightforward as one sock or two. Realistically, resources and bandwidth come into play too. “Someone with four kids and three jobs is going to have fewer choices than someone with all the time and money in the world,” Frank says. “So without shaming ourselves or ruminating on our circumstances, we want to ask, ‘What is one thing that’s within my power to do right now?’”

After you list a couple of options for Step Number One, pick whichever feels most doable and knock it out ASAP, even if it’s super tiny. “It might seem too silly and easy to move the needle, but from a brain-science perspective, it’s what we need to get moving,” Frank explains. “If you don’t want your amygdala, which is sort of like the panic button of the brain, to put you in a freeze response, you need to take small enough steps to avoid triggering the alarm.”

Okay, but what if baby steps don’t unfreeze you? Then, it might be time to try Frank’s next tip….

“Snow-globe” your brain.

You read that correctly. Before I explain what it means, though, here’s another factoid about your brain: It loves to function on autopilot, which isn’t exactly conducive to getting things done. “Our brains are designed to conserve energy, not to be productive and succeed all the time, which makes them seek out predictable patterns,” Frank says. She adds that procrastination is just another pattern your brain likes to follow, whether you’re distracting yourself on TikTok, sitting (literally) frozen on the couch, or ruminating on why you can’t just do it already.

This brings us back to snow-globing your brain—which means doing something that shifts you from inertia to action. “Shake your head around, suck on an ice cube, spin around in a circle three times, walk backward for 10 seconds, sing randomly—it can be anything to get you out of that frozen state,” she says. “It sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous, but it works.” Think of it as finding ways to interrupt your brain’s procrastinating pattern—and setting yourself up to maybe even take the next step.

Okay, now you can ask why.

After you get some momentum going, you might hit another wall. Frank recommends trying to knock out more of the tiny actions on your list before switching to reflection mode, but at some point you might find your next steps by turning inward. After all, sometimes our procrastination habits signal larger, underlying issues we need to address, whether that’s by tackling perfectionist tendencies with a workbook, treating a mental health condition that exacerbates your avoidance (like anxiety or ADHD), or identifying deeper emotional triggers. (Don’t pressure yourself to figure out the root cause or the solution on your own, though, she advises—working with a therapist or even bouncing ideas off a trusted friend can get you out of your head.)

Frank emphasizes the importance of still doing something with that information, whether it’s establishing a game plan for next time or solving the most immediate problem at hand. Identifying that you’ve outgrown your job probably won’t magically put you in the mood to finally tackle all that busy work your boss keeps piling on, for example. But it could inspire you to request a meeting to discuss your workload, switch your LinkedIn to “open to work,” or read reviews for a new task management app to try. In some cases, it might be as simple as flagging, “Actually, I’m too stressed out to figure this out right now”—and then focusing on practicing some stress-relieving self-care instead.

Don’t beat yourself up for procrastinating.

Again, procrastination is human, so there’s no magic bullet for overcoming it completely. When you inevitably put something off for too long, resist the negative self-talk. That means no calling yourself lazy, ruminating on how you should’ve started this weeks ago, or whatever other way you’re tempted to blame yourself for your current predicament. “No one has ever shamed themselves into productivity sustainably,” Frank says.

This self-compassion isn’t just about being kind to yourself, though that’s important too—it’s about not making things even harder on yourself. Because that freeze response you’re trying to overcome? Yeah, yelling at it isn’t going to help. If anything, per Frank, it’ll just make you clam up more. So, instead, extend yourself some grace, even if it’s as simple as saying, “I froze up and it’s not the end of the world.”

Now, if you’re feeling ready…maybe it’s time to go put away that sock?

Related:

Asking for Help Is So Damn Hard. Here’s How to Make It Easier Try the ‘Five Things’ Method When You Need to Tidy Your Home But Have Zero Energy We Asked Slackers for Their Best Advice on Doing the Least

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